averagefairy:

why do they even include 2014 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

(via fake-mermaid)

191,092 notes

ernbarassing:

if im on tumblr more than usual that means i have a lot of stuff i need to be doing and im trying to avoid doing it

(Source: ernbarassing, via fake-mermaid)

195,930 notes
When you’re in first place in Mario Kart and shit starts going down behind you:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

image

(via sorry)

150,588 notes
  • Mom: ' well you need to call them and ask.'
  • Me: I dont think you understand how much i cannot do that.
398,713 notes

landorus:

the older u get the funnier spongebob becomes

(via fake-mermaid)

195,423 notes

shotsfiredat221b:

dulect:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

image

Both reactions work

(Source: chicken-nuggets-galore, via sorry)

879,642 notes

nialls-genitalls:

Me when I’m the next one to present in class

image

(via sorry)

246,570 notes

forgivenessisourtorch:

Can we just talk about the movie Shrek for a second here?

Here we see the three bears in a cage, the baby bear is crying that it’s too small.image 
Now, back at Shreks swamp we see the baby bear still crying to his father, yet he’s not in a cage, Where’s his mother?image

Later on, it shows Lord Farquaads castle and it shows the Mother bear skinned and turned into a rug.image

 Lord Farquaad SKINNED AND TURNED THE MOTHER BEAR INTO A RUG. 
THAT’S WHY THE BABY BEAR IS STILL CRYING.

(via zackisontumblr)

112,081 notes

themoonphase:

I think the biggest turn on is knowing you turned someone else on.

(via awholelottaono)

276,646 notes